Key idea for saving your marriage: Every time, you meet up or text your partner think: how could I do this differently?
If you just fall into the same old traps or behave in the same old way, you’ll get the same old response and you know where that’s got you.
For example, you will meet up once a week and reply to one text a day.
If you’re the partner holding the responsibility for saving the marriage, please put your main focus and energy on working on yourself.
Key idea for saving your marriage: If you’re the partner looking for space – but not getting it – try negotiating with your partner rather than just withdrawing (and unilaterally imposing it).
If your partner knows the rules for contact – and can have some input into deciding on them – he or she will find it much easier to cope.
Furthermore, if you follow my six steps it could not only save your marriage but be the foundation for a better one. What would make this a constructive time for both of you?
Instead of letting everything coming to a head – with one person walking away out of frustration or being ‘thrown out’ – focus on talking through how this trial separation will work. Key idea for saving your marriage: Focus on improving your communication and listening skills because they become even more important when you’re not under the same roof.
So if he or she is set on the idea, it is better to engage with the idea and negotiate.
It also sucks all the joy out of the few face-to-face encounters that you do have because you’re interpreting every gesture for clues about the future. It’s when you imagine further ahead than the weekend that you start to panic.
Key idea for saving your marriage: Live in today, this moment, right now – rather than worrying about the past or trying to guess the future. So every time, you feel yourself unravelling focus back down on NOW.
I spend my time going over and over things in my head and one minute I think things are turning around but the next minute I’m questioning what my wife is doing with her time alone and whether or not we’re really ‘working on the marriage’.
A crisis quickly turns into a catastrophe; certainly in my head if not in my relationship as well.